The door swings

Haven't written in ages.
But here I am.
Feeling free yet locked up, contradicting much?
Moving on...

On a different page now.

I did some thinking. And it made me even more curious.
Why?
Do you have so much time in your hands to distract and torment me, all that at the same time?
It left me wondering, WHAT are you?

Another different page.

I will be going off to somewhere magically this March, for 10days. InsyaAllah.
And when I come back, I will be sailing – almost. Till July that is.

Another different, different page. Final page.

One whole night, I kept thinking off asking my Dad to stop the car and I went off running to you. I barely sat in the car for 5 minutes. – Of course it happened 3 years ago?
It hit me that, I left my door wide open when yours is still swinging.

I want to tell God that...

This particular topic just came to my mind few days ago when I was all alone probably going training. I was as usual questioning things that have gone wrong in my life particularly. It was like a soul searching session.

I always heard that as a Muslim when you die and brought back to life, During resurrection day in particular, you are all alone. If you have been a good Muslim back in your days on Earth, you'll get to be by God's side and be with the people that you loved.

Then I thought to myself, who do I want to be with under God's care in paradise, that is aside my family of course, who?

I only had one true answer which is of course Fadhil. Fadhil my future husband(insyaallah); when my "syurga" lies :) There is nothing more beautiful than the love, care and laughther we shared but of course I would want to make 'us' our relationship halal in God's eyes.

When that came across my mind, I smiled :) because I know that among my dreams, this is the hardest...

"I am not allowed to cry,so when I wanted to speak, you turn away. All I could do was to pray to God for brigther coloured sky.."